#trending: S’pore woman’s biggest culture shock living in Sweden? Many couples skip marriage even after kids

SINGAPORE — Having kids while unmarried, or living with your partner without tying the knot might seem like a big no-no in Singapore, but in Sweden it doesn’t raise eyebrows.
For Singaporean Wynnette Yip, who has been living in the country for the past four years, the real culture shock was not the food or chilly winters, but discovering that many couples start families without ever saying “I do”.
In a video posted on the social media platform on Monday (Sept 9), Ms Yip outlined Sweden’s open approach to cohabitation, where many couples choose not to wed even after having multiple children together.
As of Thursday afternoon, the video had garnered over 180,000 views, with netizens from around the world sharing their own experiences and many expressing support for the more flexible approach to marriage.
Ms Yip explained the term “sambo”, which is short for the Swedish word “sammanboende”, meaning co-habitation.
The term refers to couples who are living together in a romantic relationship without the formalities of being married.
Sambo relationships are legally recognised to some extent, such as property rights governed under a law termed “Sambolagen” where joint property can be split between couples who decide to break up.
However, in areas such as inheritance rights and spousal support, sambo couples do not have legal entitlements and do not enjoy the same protections as formally married couples.
Ms Yip shared that she moved to Sweden on a sambo visa, calling it “crazy” that she was able to move to a new country “based on a relationship without the need (for) marriage”.
She described relationships in Singapore as “very linear”, where couples start off with dating before getting married and having children. “Marriage is sort of one big important step that you take in a relationship,” she added.
Ms Yip also shared that she has been in a relationship with her partner for eight years and often faces questions from friends and family in Singapore on whether her other half was ever going to propose to her or was simply “wasting (her) time”.
On the other hand, she remarked that no one in Sweden was “batting an eyelid” about them living together without getting married.
Many users commented on Ms Yip’s video by sharing experiences from their own countries, providing a diverse range of perspectives on marriage.
Some viewers expressed support for Sweden’s more flexible approach, noting how it contrasts with the more traditional expectations in other parts of the world.
One user, “KY” noted that such an arrangement was more common in Europe, unlike in Asia where couples would be pressured to get hitched if they were in long-term relationships without the prospect of marriage.
Another user, “Darryl_Chan”, wrote that the pressure to tie the knot is not unique to Singapore, but many countries require couples to be married “for the purpose of administration concerning ownership, right to care, international travel and assets”.
Some viewers also shared stories of how cohabitation without marriage is a norm in their cultures, while others praised Sweden’s system for its recognition of personal choice and relationship dynamics.
User “Lea” wrote: “I’m French Canadian and we have the same mentality as Swedes when it comes to marriage, having children is a bigger sign of engagement and love than getting married.”
Another user “user202585”, wrote that the arrangement was common in their home country of Norway as well, adding their view: “For me the essential thing is the quality of the relationship itself, not whether or not you’re married.”
Despite this, some users argued that couples should marry after having children to ensure legal protection.
One user, “Jerry Rapp”, wrote: “Marriage isn’t really important until you start having kids or buy a joint home or similar. The sambo system is weaker than a marriage and it can bite you if you’re not careful.”
As for Ms Yip, she mentioned in replies to some comments that she “(found) it hard to accept not ever getting married”.
She added that it was tricky for her to reconcile the values she was raised with to Sweden’s open approach to marriage, adding that she and her partner have agreed to get married in the future.
TODAY reached out to Ms Yip for more information. In her response, she clarified that it is not her friends and family in Singapore who have said that her partner is “wasting (her) time” by not proposing to her, but that she was referring to the “general sentiments from some Singaporeans”.
She added that adjusting to the cultural differences in Sweden has been an interesting part of blending her life with her partner’s. 
“My partner and I have chatted about our perspectives on marriage at various points during our eight-year relationship, (four of which were long distance and the other four living together in Sweden),” she said.
“We’ve mutually decided to get married eventually, just not yet, and not at the average age of marriage in Singapore (28-30). In Sweden it’s 30-34.” 
Ms Yip also told TODAY that she met her partner in 2016 during her student exchange to Sweden, and moved to Sweden in 2020 when her visa was approved.
“Stockholm and Singapore share many similarities, so adjusting wasn’t too difficult—except for the dark and cold winters,” she said.

Living in Sweden has given her a new perspective on relationships and family life, she added.
“Here, marriage is seen as a personal choice rather than a societal expectation. Many couples live together and have children without getting married, or getting married later in life, and this arrangement is well-supported in Sweden.”
Marriage, when it happens, is typically a personal decision made because the couple genuinely wants it, not because of societal pressures or traditional expectations, she added.
“It’s refreshing to see such respect for personal choices. While I still value the cultural traditions I grew up with in Singapore, this experience has allowed me to blend and appreciate elements from both cultures,” she said.
“It’s all about finding what resonates with me personally and respecting the diverse ways people approach life and relationships.”